Day 388: Mars One Bobby.

A few years ago there was a Space X marketing campaign asking for volunteers to live on Mars, you may remember it?

Well, I volunteered.

I made a series of application videos called MarsOne Bobby.

I guess I have a flare for naming projects, 1 part subject, 1 part Bobby.


Stop or My Mom Will Shoot Is a Oscar Worthy Performance By Sylvester Stallone Bobby.

Soon after volunteering for the Space X experience I realized it would be better to make a film chronicling the application process and eventually, the transplant to Mars, than to actually go to Mars forever.

The major player in this about face decision was the permanency of never seeing the ocean or a rainstorm again.

Instead I thought if the series could chronicle a real life Armageddon movie, it could be really funny, possibly even funnier than Armageddon.

As a viewer of my series, you would get to see the volunteers video submissions.

Think American Idol, but for space.

The Space X requirements for successful applicants were not exclusive to an educational pedigree, science background or military service, the applicants could be regular people.

Like me.

Sort of like me.

He could be Alcoholic Steve from Canterbury.

Ginger Mike from Cape Breton.

Or Kendrick Lamar from Compton.

In my loose outline of a script, after the MarsOne team was selected they began a training program to acclimate to the realities of living on Mars.

Isolation training.

Conflict resolution training.

How to navigate common psychological problems while living inside a bubble, training.

Microsoft Word training.

After a year of preparation the MarsOne group blasted off to the red planet,

After a few months of being martians, there were problems.

MarsOne Bobby, played by Giovanni Ribisi, disliked taking orders from the team nutritionist, psychologist and several Space X organizers stationed on Earth.

Giovanni Ribisi, the legend.

Furthermore MarsOne Bobby, played by Giovanni Ribisi, was annoyed with various people within the MarsOne community delegating duties to volunteers based on, what he interrupted to be, favoritism.

The behavior responsible for the continued destruction of earth, has no place here, on Mars.” Giovanni Ribisi Bobby, said.

MarsOne Bobby slowly detached from the routines and data missions, soon he was estranged from the Space X group altogether.

MarsOne Bobby convinced other members to separate from the MarsOne community.

The division quickly escalated to a violent power struggle.

A bloody, live on Zoom, revolution, that would ultimately win independence for Mars from Earth.

The moral of my story was to remind people how important our world is.


For those of you who watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians

I was suggesting that removing humans from Earth, would result in a pervasive compassionate ineptitude.

It was meant to be an homage to Lord of the flies, and various geopolitical attitudes throughout the ages.

But mainly, it was to spotlight the importance of our world.

The oneness that should exist between the Earth and we, the beings of it’s namesake, the Earthling.

The reason I’m bringing this up now is lately I feel like I’m living on Mars.

The world around me is restricting if not defying freedoms altogether.

Brazenly contradicting the fundamental virtues of democracy.

Police in Hong Kong and the USA are acting like third rich deathsquads.

A human being with a Trillion dollars of personal wealth is no longer an absurd Bond villain imagination, his name is Jeff Bezos, winner of Captialism, yet here we all are, still being forced to play it.

Meanwhile economic slavery is normalized in the developed world, and desired in the undeveloped.

I don’t mean to sound preachy but.

A local guy yelled at me to wear a face mask as I pushed my way through a dozen cows eating garbage on the road.

Five minutes later a troop of wild monkeys stole a half eaten cob of corn from my hands.

The disparity between rich and poor is real.

I’m aggravated.

Being part of a forced lockdown for two and a half months has been a unforgivable expression of authority by India.

An expression of authority that has not been uniform.

Yesterday some rich asshole flew over me in a helicopter.

I guess rich people are immune to Corona virus.

Note* After reading this I realized Giovanni Ribisi played Parker Selfridge, the bad guy in Avatar.

So he might not be the best choice to play the liberator of Mars.

That, or my subconscious is making a statement.





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